Harry Potter and the Big Glowey Stone
by HellKing666
Summary: What would you pay to be in one of your favourite books? Not anything for me considering I have a possible one way ticket to mine, I suppose it isn't all bad, I get to meet my heroes in the flesh and everything, but I could do without Death nagging me every step of the way... Self-Insert of my Sister, Powerful
1. Prologue: Pitfalls in Pages

**A/N: Decided to start of a Fanfiction with my sister at the start, basically I wanted to do some S.I. in the future and thought to start off hard and it will be easy later on, my sister was excited for the idea and gave me all the details she wanted in her character, much to be figured out *mumble mumble***

**Here we are with my story, fake name for sis by the way.**

**Prologue: Pitfalls in Pages**

Surprised is a common thing in life, surprised by a balloon popping next to you, surprised by a party planned for you, surprised that your favourite celebrity got kicked off his/her show,

But those are everyday things; it is hardly anything to get worked up about.

And then we find ourselves in those long running surprises that seek to mess with you at every corner you turn,

Thriller films with demons that jump everywhere, that annoying brother that somehow gets you every time at Halloween, the prices at the supermarket which rise and fall every day.

But you get over that as well, all those things pass after the moment and cease being particularly interesting.

And that's when I come in,

It all started when my brother was bawling at full pitch for one of his numerous toys he lost, and when I had lost rock-paper-scissors with my older brother, I had to look for it.

Should have chosen paper,

To say my brother was messy would be unfair, to messy people, at least they clear a space to set something up or sit down, little brother seems to layer them on top of each other, Mum and Dad seem to have given up trying to tell him to stop.

As I made my way into the room, I saw with disgust that all my Harry Potter books were piled up messily on his bedside cabinet, with traces of jam dotting on the covers.

I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Pamela Joy, my little brother is Jake and my big brother is Darren, to describe myself, I have petite figure and long curly brown hair with greenish blue eyes my favourite colour is orange, and if I'm honest I'm a bit of a tomboy, wearing skirts and dresses had never been on my priority, apart from my choice of clothes, I have okay looks girl-wise, not drop dead gorgeous but I'm still a bit of a looker, I bet I will have a body to die for when I get older, my age is twelve by the way.

Back to the story, I was making my way through the toxic waste on the floor when I accidently tripped on a rocking horse, I heard numerous things fall behind me which gave me the indication that I set off some elaborate Ruberg machine made of junk, I sighed heavily and continued my search for…

…

God dammit, I forgot to ask what I was searching for in the first place, I slightly turned in place and carefully made my way back to the door, grumbling on the way, I was so focused on my inner rambling that I didn't pay too much attention to where my feet was going, enough to step over a bright yellow duck, a book with pages that are a normal white, not so much.

I stepped on one of my Harry Potter books that had been one of the things that fell to the ground; I looked at my foot and hated it enough to briefly consider amputation, I am a die-hard HP fan by the way, and does anyone thing that Hermione would have been a better girl for Harry? Just thinking.

My inner thoughts prevented me from noticing something opening slowly under my foot, it was not until I felt the sudden pull of gravity did I yell out as I fell through the floor.

And then everything went black.

I woke up in a black void; it was like all those space movies in Star Trek without all the stars or planets, it was just a stretching space of black yet it was not dark because I could still see myself clearly,

And then I started making out slight shapes, and eventually a figure started moving towards me.

He was dressed in a black cloak that his every piece of his skin covered, he seemed to be gliding towards me in an eerie way, his face lifted and I suddenly screamed,

He had no face,

There was just space inside his hood, and I felt a lump in my throat as he brought out a long scythe,

"WAIT! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" as clichéd as it may be, I was desperate,

He then did the last thing I expected him to do, he chuckled,

He then erupted in full blown laughter, that echoed throughout the dark landscape, I didn't laughing could be so scary,

He then stopped suddenly and turned his head towards me and said in a throaty deep voice, **"You are never too young to die, put that's not why you're here"**

Before I could get over him talking without a mouth, he continued,

"**I have taken you from your world to have you do a favour for me"**

"**I want you to find my Deathly Hallows"**

The Deathly Hallows? I'm sure I heard that before…

…

"Are you kidding?! That's from Harry Potter you lunatic!" I shouted at him,

"**Do you really want to piss off a guy with a scythe?"** he deadpanned to me,

I looked at the sharp blade for a second before he continued,

"**Harry Potter is far more than just a simple story book"**

"Yeah, they made movies about it as well" I tried to joke,

He 'glared' at me for a second and I smartly decided to shut up,

"**All dimensions throughout the universe are connected in one way or another, Harry Potter in your realm may be a fictional character, but in another, he is the hero of the light, who cheated me several times I may add" **he said in a resentful voice,

It took a few seconds to process that,

"But why me? Can't you get someone like, Attila the Conqueror or something?"

He then gave me a strange 'look',

"**That's Attila the Hun you nitwit"**

"Hey, history isn't my strong point"

"**Anyway, why choose a stubborn barbarian with no brains, than a little girl who can blend into Hogwarts, stay close to Harry Potter to find them, and won't go back home until you do"**

I looked at him in horror,

"WHAT! I like Harry Potter and all, but I won't be able to get the Deathly Hallows until, like, book 7!"

"**Not my problem"**

"Ngh! A-a-a-uhhhhhhh" I uttered,

"**Great, I broke her"**

I then recovered said, "What about my family, I can't leave them, and I'm too old for Hogwarts anyway, so HA!"

Despite my exclamation, Death faked a yawn,

"**Your realm shall be frozen, and I'll adjust your age and blah blah blah"**

"But th-the books have already ended so I can't be at the start anyway!" I shouted desperately,

"**If I can freeze time your dimension, why can't I turn back time in the other, I'm Death after all" **he slouched back in an invisible chair like my excuses didn't faze him, which was probably true.

"If you're so powerful, why can't you get them yourself?!" I say,

He seemed to be slightly angry now, **"Unfortunately, when I had given them to the brothers, the contract of death to living came into play, when an immortal had given something of great power to mortal, they cannot intervene further with the object, so now that the Hallows are in mortal hands, I can't touch them"**

I was confused now, "Can't you like, appear thousands of years later to a point when they aren't in anyone's possession?"

"**What was not mentioned in the books was that after the Dark Lord Voldemort was defeated, all three Hallows were locked in an ancient vault and became forever property to the Goblins, which are still mortals despite their long lifespans" **he said patiently, he then looked at me, expecting another objection,

I thought very hard about the reasons not to go, but then thought, why not?

I have the chance to be in one of my favourite book series, meet Harry Potter, my mum won't worry, and I maybe can even make sure deaths won't happen to some of my favourite characters.

"**NO ABSOLUTELY NOT!"**

I jumped as Death then jumped forward and glared at me with full intensity,

"**The Brothers had cheated me once! I won't have some scatter-brained girl do the same thing!"**

"Hey! Reading my mind is very creepy you know!"

"**And tell me why I shouldn't just drop you and find another person!"**

I then realised something about how he said the words,

"I'm not the first person am I?"

He cringed slightly and said, **"I don't know what you mean"**

"I'm not am I?" I asked with a grin, "I bet you did all of this with other people and the moment they thought they could save people, you sent them back"

His silence was my positive answer,

"**You are the last person in this world I can ask" **he admitted reluctantly, **"What is with you mortals and saving lives, give me a reason why I should let you at all!"**

I thought on this and came up with an answer,

"Consider it as payment"

He tilted his head to the side, **"Payment?"**

"I will get your Hallows, without question, and you let me mess with the storyline a little, no question, and so we're both happy, you get your Hallows, and I get my way along the story, so?"

He slouched back in his invisible chair, occasionally tilted his head side to side considering it, he then sighed,

"**Okay then, but no questioning why you have to do it okay?" **he looked back at me, **"I suppose you're wondering how your exactly going to fit into the world and- stop that, it's immature!"**

I was doing the happy dance in my head that I had convinced Death, I did what he said and waited patiently,

"**Good, anyway, long story short, you are going to be the Granddaughter of Mrs Figg who lives on Privet Drive, you're parents died by Death Eater resistance and you now live with her, about magic, you will be given it by me"**

"Can I have something special?" I asked excitedly,

He tilted his head again, **"I gave you may blessing to do what you would with this realm and gave you magical powers, what more do you want?"**

I thought on this, "Can I do what the House-Elves do and Apparate and Disapperate anywhere I want? And can I learn it instantly before anyone else?"

He nodded, **"Fine, I suppose that would be useful in the future, anything else?"**

"Uhhhhhhh, not sure, can I get another power in the middle of my journey?"

He sighed, **"Fine, but only one new one per year, starting at when you start Hogwarts, and that's it"**

I felt thrilled at the prospect, but then I realised something,

"Wait… if I'm going to be younger, does that mean I have to start puberty again?"

If it were possible, Death would have a smug look on his face, **"Maaaaaaaaybe"**

But before I could protest, I felt a sudden tug on my leg,

"**Good luck Pamela, I enjoy all possible time you have as a six year old"**

"WHAT!"

I then felt myself swirl down the black landscape, I couldn't even tell the difference of the black world and the back of my eye lids, when my eyes closed to pass out.

I woke up, I was standing on my feet however and looked in front of me, there was two coffins, both adorned with multi-coloured roses and two pictures, a man and a woman in front of me,

I heard whispers of 'she's so young' and 'who's going to take care of her?' behind me,

Why did the cloaked moron have to put me here, at a funeral no less?

"**If anyone's the moron it's you"**

I jumped out of my skin, at least I thought I should have, but my body didn't move,

"**I locked down your body; people would look at you strangely if you suddenly jumped like cricket in a frying pan, I'm talking in your mind before you ask"**

I felt my muscles unlock,

"_But seriously, why here, can't you have put me in Figg's house or something?" _I thought to him,

"**Taking people from their realm is easy enough, simply take their soul and leave the body behind, and before you ask, no you aren't dead in your realm,"**

"_Okay,"_ I thought with relief,_ "continue"_

"**As I said, taking it is easy enough, placing it elsewhere is entirely different, so I had to find an outlet for you to be, so a funeral was the best place because it corresponds to my element, basically, a portal"**

"_I see…" _I then looked around and there in funeral clothing like everyone else, was Mrs Figg,

"_So here's my new life then, primary's going to be a breeze"_

"**I have full teasing rights if you get one question wrong"**

I groaned inside my head, this was going to be one long temporary life.

I made my way to my new guardian.

After all of the technical stuff was done, like proof of relation and adoption papers, I went with Mrs Figg into her car and to her house,

The street was just like how I saw in the films, all normal looking, I looked behind me and saw the Dursley's house, and I permitted myself to stick my tongue at it.

As we went inside I was bombarded with the smell of old woman and cats, I have to get used to this I suppose.

As if on cue, the phone rang as we went in, Mrs Figg went to get it at the side corridor,

"Yes?" I heard murmuring from the other side of the line, "Of course Petunia, I suppose I can look after him…yes it's no bother…indeed, when will he come by…now? Of course then, I'll see you again when? ...Next week? No that's fine, have a good holiday"

She put the phone down, and looked at me, "Git's don't even give a damn about him, makes your blood boil in a way when The Boy-Who-Lived is regarded as little more than trash by his only relatives"

I only silently nodded with widening eyes, anyone else here would think because the famous Harry Potter was coming by, to me it was because I never saw this side of Mrs Figg before,

I heard knocking on the door and turned my head towards it, it was still open and I felt my breath catch as I looked at my long term hero out of the book,

He looked six years old, which is technically my age right now, he had a baggy pair of trousers and jumper at least four sizes too big for him, glasses that had been repaired once too often with tape, his bowl cut hair was perched messily on top of his head and his deep green eyes looked at me with shy curiosity,

"H-hello" he stuttered to me,

"H-hello" I repeated back, he was in front of me, Harry _James _Potter was in front of me, and talking to me,

"**Someone has a crush"**

"_Shut up Dork Death"_

**A/N: Okay, to start with, any suggestions are welcome, but it all is up to my sister and me at what actually comes through, and I will see how this goes.**

**And also, my sister was quite vocal at not having a relationship with anyone in the story, despite Death's comment just now, so not much hope in that.**


	2. Chapter 1: The Life of a Witch

**A/N: On to the years of a Wizarding child.**

**Chapter 1: The Life Of A Witch**

Apart from the whole, 'I'm six years old again' thing, life at Mrs Figg wasn't that bad.

I breezed through the years of my young life, Mrs Figg was a tad strict, but she was funny at times as well.

I also got into the same school as Harry, and as I predicted, all the tests were as simple as anything, Death was put out when I never got a question wrong.

Oh yes, Death, he was now my constant companion, and would talk to me whenever I had the time, but he also gave a range of side-comments when I didn't, I kindly asked him not to tell me the exact date and time someone would have their Deathday.

I had been practicing magic ever since I got here; apparently, it is only when a wand that was bonded to the Witch or Wizard would give off the Trace, any magical disturbances that would be detected in Mrs Figg's house would be ignored as it is registered as a Wizard house, so I could practice as much as a wanted, I realised a few months through my training that I was casting wandless magic and I revelled in how forgetful yet awesome I was.

The cats were the best, Harry had written them off as scary in the books, but in fact they were quite nice when you got used to them, Mr Tibbles was my favourite one, and he would snuggle into my lap when I sat down on the coach and purr when I scratched his ears.

On my days off from Gregory Primary School, I would pet Mr Tibbles and listen to old stories that Death had to share, he was angry that I wanted to hear the story of the Three Brothers just to make him ticked off, but I convinced him saying I wanted to hear it from his perspective.

Death saw the thing as an annoyance that was small enough not for a murder spree, but big enough for him to intervene, apparently he wasn't exactly mad at the Brothers themselves from not dying from the river, it was because they had made a bridge that stopped any other possible deaths from happening in it, when I asked why he felt the need to have people die he said the world was like a set of scales, if too many people would live and not die when need be, it would disrupt the balance and the world would go wacky, chaos and become a post-apocalyptic world, therefore more people would die in the long run.

He then further said that the only reason I'm an exception is because there are only a few people I actually want to save, so he would let it pass this once.

I became fast friends with Harry when we met, of course I had to bite my tongue when I almost said his name before he told me, as expected, he was incredibly shy due to his up-bringing, and I was mad that when we went to school together that he had no other friends simply because Dudley was stomping around like an elephant on parade.

Dum-Dum tried to intimidate me to stay away from Harry, but I unleashed a boil curse on his buttocks when no one was looking and that shut him up, he tried again when his rash cleared up and I responded with a kick to his privates, I then realised that when he got his gang together when he got older that I would be screwed, so I begged Mrs Figg's to pay for self-defence classes, she conceded and I earned my Black-Belt in Kung-Fu within two years.

Eight years old now, strange that I am actually saying that while not gushing over little girl dresses and dolls.

Dudley got his gang together and started up Harry Hunting, I managed to ward them off a few times and I never got into trouble because they would never admit to being beat up by a girl, as a result of kicking them to the curb, Harry began opening up and fellow students became his friend, behind Dum-Dum's back of course but Harry told me it was fine and he didn't blame them.

I then began practising with Apparition, I quickly got over the sickening feeling that I was going through a tube of toothpaste and quickly took to the art, next thing I knew, I was visiting the cities of France and Germany and places I never been before, of course I did more sight-seeing than mingling with the locals, as I did the worst in language's in my old life.

The Apparition had all the House-Elf pieces to it, I could bypass any wards that stopped Apparition, I could Apparate as far as I wished, and nobody could detect where I go.

I of course kept all of my magic a secret, I had taken books of magic around Mrs Figg's house and practiced in secret, waiting though my life for my second eleventh birthday.

I witnessed the magical event of Harry turning our teachers wig blue, and the shouting from the other end of the street confirmed that the Dursley's found out, as payback I got a large pot of pink paint and smeared it one their car, it took weeks to get out.

But the second event was more memorable, when I had taken my eyes off Harry for a second, I found that he had disappeared when the bell rang, after looking around, I had a flash of intuition and looked up, there perched on top of the school kitchen roof was Harry, hanging on for dear life.

I sighed and mentally reminded myself to beat up Dum-Dum afterwards before Apparated next to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

He yelped slightly and peaked up at me, his jaw opened slightly before he said, "Pam, how did you get here?"

I rose an eyebrow and gave him a 'are you serious' look before he blushed at the similar situation he was in.

I took him by the hand and Apparated us back down to the ground; he blinked a few times before falling to his knees in exhaustion,

I couldn't resist it and said, "We were pretty successful, most people vomit the first time"

"I can't imagine why" he groaned on his knees, I chuckled at the repeat of one of my favourite Harry Potter lines as he recovered and stood up slowly,

His eyes then widened at the sight of the school on ground, he turned on the spot for a few times before looking at me again,

"You… you can do it as well?" he asks with a quiet voice, as if Vernon was around the corner with his pig neck sticking out to eavesdrop,

"Yep!" I replied with a positive voice, and that was the day that Harry and I became best friends.

"**Urg that was such a corny line I think I'm going to puke"**

"_Dork Death! Shut up!"_

"**You shut up"**

"_How you have to read my mind again?"_

"**I already explained that, in order to sustain your soul in a different dimensional I need to remain in constant contact with your mind, either that or you would disappear in a puff of dust, but if you want some privacy, I could always leave…"**

"_NO! Nagging old woman's voice is alright!"_

"**I DON'T SOUND LIKE AN OLD WOMAN!"**

"_Nag, Nag, Nag, Nag, Nag!"_

Sorry about that interruption, anyway, I already met with Harry frequently due to the Dursley's dumping him on Mrs Figg when they wanted to go off somewhere, Twits.

But he had still been a little distant because of his relatives calling him a freak, but now that he realised that I was one as well, he opened up to me.

Over the course of the next few years with him, we practiced magic at my house, and yes it is my house, it might as well be considering I am officially living with my 'relative', sure, in my mind she was a side character in one of my favourite series, but now she really is my 'gran' in a way, she has even toned down her attempts to making Harry's life miserable because I'm around.

Anyway, we had been practicing magic; I taught him basic stuff like _Lumos_ and _Scourgify_, I also gave him clear instructions that he cannot practice it outside the house, otherwise problems may pop up, he promised me he wouldn't and then asked what exactly he was.

I of course told him he was _not_ a freak and that he would find out when he was older, he smiled with me and we both unanimously agreed on the situation.

I then waited a little more, until I was on my second eleventh birthday, a little over one month before Harry's, I was watching a funny show on TV when I heard a gasp and the sound of someone falling down the stairs, I quickly shot up and ran to hallway to see Mrs Figg's lying and the bottom of the stairs with an ugly bruise on her ankle.

I called the hospital and we both got into the ambulance together and drove off, me worrying every centimetre of the way.

It wasn't until the doctor told me she only broke her leg did I remember this was part of the story, Harry went to the zoo with his family because there was no one else to take him, I was disappointed I would see Dum-Dum get a jump from a Boa Constrictor but I decided it was better to let things play out.

After a few more days, Mrs Figg's had all but assaulted the doctors to let her go back home, due to professional career, they held out until she was at the stage when she could put on a cast and go home, we both went on our way, with Mrs Figg's using a walking stick and muttering about idiot muggle doctors.

The thing I forgot to mention is that all wizards have a slightly faster healing rate than normal people, I think it's because of all the magic that is pumped into their system, but even if that was not the case, Mrs Figg would have still wanted to leave early.

We were back at the house for less than a week before a hoot was heard outside the window while we were relaxing in the living room.

I opened the window to see a cute little owl with brown speckles on her feathers, I stretched out my arm and the little one jumped on it and I closed the window once she was inside.

As I expected, a letter was attached to her leg, Mrs Figg's was smiling openly as I ripped it open with glee, I quickly read through it, it was different from Harry's from the book as I recall, it talked about how they going to send someone over to help with my Hogwarts supplies and I was jumping for joy for MY Hogwarts letter.

Mrs Figg sat up from the coach, still with a limp because of her leg, and hugged me, no doubt because she had never had the chance to go to Hogwarts herself and was happy for me.

After an hour of excitement I then was interrupted by a whiny annoying voice.

"**And that is when we catch up with the present… why are you doing this again?"**

"_It's for the readers"_

"…**Readers? What do you think this is? Some autobiography?"**

"_A girl can dream can't she?"_

"**Of course they can, but how does that apply to you?"**

"_Nyan Cat, go!"_

"**NO! NOT THAT AGAIN!"**

Anyway, drowning out the screams of terror in my head as I played back the most annoying YouTube video of all time, I then looked out the window to see an owl dropping a letter that hit a bulls-eye in the letterbox on the other side of the street; it seems Harry is in for an eventful month.

Skip a few days and I look out the window to see the Dursley's as well as Harry had packed a bunch of stuff and were proceeding to try and run away from magic.

I cast a Notice-Me-Now spell towards Harry and he looked up to me in the window, I waved to him and he smiled and nodded, as he was nearly packed into the car himself.

Barely a fortnight later, they came back again, minus Harry, I was delighted at the sight of Dum-Dum clutching his backside like the time I put a curse on it, and maybe I should freak him out by saying Oink-Oink around him.

A few days later, Harry himself came back; I rushed outside the house and ran towards him,

I was scared that he gave me a glare instead of a hug.

But he immediately cracked a smile and laughed,

"Why, didn't you say I was a wizard?" he asked when he could speak again,

I put a smile of my own on my face, "And spoil the surprise, Harry, it's like you don't know me at all"

He then had a look of realisation, "Then that means you're a witch?"

I pretended to look angry, "That's not a nice thing to call a lady Harry"

He blushed, "S-sorry, I meant-

"I'm kidding" I deadpanned, I then pulled him into a hug, "we're both going together to Hogwarts, let's show them what we're made of, okay?"

He then gave a massive grin and we both laughed at the situation, we then went into a discussion of what Hogwarts would be like and many other things.

And then it was the day the professor from Hogwarts would come along and help me with the shopping, money was apparently not a problem because Mrs Figg ran a cross-breeding business of cats and kneazle's and she had raised a lot of Galleons, I felt guilty using her money, but then I realised she was my primary care giver so I accepted it.

I then waited for the Hogwarts person to come and wondered who it would be.

"_Hey, Death?"_

"**What is it!"**

"_Whoa, why are you so cranky?"_

"**It is because of that insufferable feline of yours, why do you mortals always find new ways to torture yourself, first roller coasters, S&M and now that horrible cat!"**

I suppressed my urge to blush at the second one.

"_Look, do you happen to know who is coming around to pick me up?"_

"**Mm, hehe"**

"…_who is it?"_

"**Why, Pamela, it's like you don't know me at all, why would I spoil the surprise?"**

I felt the most dreadful feeling in my stomach, and as if on cue, I heard the doorbell ring, I hurried down the stairs and saw Mrs Figg open the door.

There, on the doorstep, with black robes that fell to his ankle, with a hooked nose and incredibly greasy hair that hung over his shoulders, he had dark eyes that resembled tunnels, pock marks littering his face and his lips in a constant sneer.

"Miss Joy I presume, my name Professor Snape, hurry along, it is time to gather your supplies for your time in Hogwarts"

"_I hate my life"_

"**Music to my ears, Hahaha!"**

**A/N: Second chapter done!**

**Hope you liked it; I already discussed most of the details with my friend so there are some things that you don't have to suggest for the story, for one the powers she receives, and **

**See you next time!**


	3. Chapter 2: Crap! Snape

**A/N: I love Diagon Ally; it has so many things in it that just make you wish it actually existed, so I will be making quite the impression on the scene.**

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 2: Crap! Snape**

After the meeting with Snape, I was given the key to Mrs Figg's vault to use when I got to Gringott's; I was excited at the possibility of meeting an actual goblin.

Snape was… Snape, he hardly said a word to me unless it was to check if I forgot something or to tell me to hurry up, I wasn't even sorted yet and he was already unbearable.

I would enjoy every prank the Weasley Twin's play on him.

The trip to London was, well, awkward; it was like someone stuffed an elephant in the same car as us, I asked why we couldn't use magical means and said he was not in the mood to answer questions.

We eventually got to London and Snape coldly waited for me to get out of the taxi, we then got to the Leaky Cauldron, it was dank and depressing looking from the outside, but I when we went in I heard shouts of laughter and strong scents of alcohol wavering around the place.

We went past them and through the backdoor, the whole stone wall in sequence thing happened and the walls opened by up to reveal Diagon Ally.

It was… magical, I knew how dumb that line sounded but I couldn't help it, it just was, I saw so many things that made my head spin from lack of logic despite it being buried for five years.

The owls hooted from the Magical Menagerie, numerous kids were outside the Quidditch supply shop goggling at the newest models of broom (I wonder if I could join the team…), and best of all, many kids that were chowing away at their magic world sweets, the Fizzing Whizz Bees were making my mouth water from the sight of it.

Snape took out a list of my school supplies, first of all was money of course so we went to the Gringott's Wizarding Bank, I read the words on the door like it said on the book.

_Enter, stranger, but take heed_

_Of what awaits the sin of greed,_

_For those who take, but do not earn,_

_Must pay most dearly in their turn,_

_So if you seek beneath our floors_

_A treasure that was never yours,_

_Thief, you have been warned, beware_

_Of finding more than treasure there._

"Mad to try to rob it…" I mumbled, and realised I will have to go insane with the next seven years if I was ever going to get the Cup of Hufflepuff, I laughed inside my head at the joke.

The Goblins were quite weird, they looked at me from the corner of their eyes like I was a slab of meat, I shivered at the thought, we got to the end of the torture at both sides of the hall to the lead goblin guy, after giving him the key, me and Snape got escorted by Griphook to Mrs Figg's vault, 231.

"I should warn you" I said to Snape as we got on the cart, "I was never good on rollercoasters"

I was sad to say that I puked in the middle of the twisting, turning passages of the ride, I was happy to report however, that a bit went on Snape's coat, and best of all, he couldn't even blame me because it was 'not my fault' and it was 'accidental' I was saved from the Griphook in the front with these words.

After picking up my jaw at the vault that seemed to pass ungodly wealth, I got a bag and proceeded to shovel as much Galleons into it as I could into it, and all my pockets, as well as persuading Snape with puppy dog eyes to give my an extra bag, it was small but it made me richer.

"**Greedy aren't you?"**

"_Shut up DD, go play ballerina or something"_

"**I don't see how you are getting at me at comparing me to an idiot in a tutu who feels the need to push buttons"**

"_My point exactly"_

"…**WAIT!"**

"_Just got it didn't you?"_

Any-who, we then went around the place getting everything for Hogwarts; we worked from the top to the bottom,

The robes were pretty nice; I had a little private fangirl scream at holding actual Hogwarts robes while I got all of them in the shop, thankfully I didn't have to meet Draco like Harry did in the book, so I enjoyed the absence of little, blond, whiny girl in my general area.

I actually got the pointed hat like in the list; I noted that I never really seen much of them being mentioned much in the book and movies, except Ms McGonagall, but she's a teacher, I thought to

We got all the books from Flourish and Blots, they were basic stuff typical for first year, and a quick look through the Standard book of Spells confirmed I already knew them all, I decided to read the others at a later date.

I decided to leave the wand till the end as I went through equipment; I bought two cauldrons just in case I melted the first one, as well as two sets of crystal vials, just in case, brass scales, telescope were normal except I got the special telescope that could shrink into my pocket and had a longer range of sight.

Snape would have passed the Magical Menagerie if it hadn't been for me begging, and threatening to bring one of Mrs Figg's cats in its place, considering how he was glared at by them when he was back at the house; he did a 180 and walked towards the shop.

I was bombarded with screeches, hoots, growls, barks and howls as I walked into the door, there were so many it would have been torturous to choose between them all, thankfully, I became kind of a cat person as I lived with them for five years, so I managed to narrow it down to them, so I went from cat to cat to see which fit me best.

My eyes finally fell on a peachy-gold cat sitting on top of the counter, she was beautiful, and I resisted all urge glomp the little guy as I looked at her.

Her fur was what I describe to be Puffy-Fluffy, and I already knew the name at the thought.

"Fluffy" I said as I looked at her, it was a common thing, as I grew up I always naming my toys after what they looked like, but I swear I saw a slight look of irritation at my on-the-second-name for her, remembering Mrs Figg's cats, I turned to the shop owner.

"Is she part Kneazle?" I asked,

"Yes, she doesn't like names that are too cutesy as well" he grinned at my slip-up.

I caught the sight of Snape outside the window gesturing for me to either steal the two owls that were the size of my hands, or to hurry up, I guessed it was the latter.

I turned and bowed apologetically to the cat, "Sorry, you can choose the name if you want"

The cat tilted her head to the side curiously, and nodded slightly, all the while the shopkeeper watched us both with a wide eyed expression.

"That is quite strange, she has never really liked any of her previous buyers before, she usually runs away after a few days you know" he then grins at me, "I think you will find she favours the name Autumn, it is her favourite season as well"

I looked toward the she-cat and she nodded again to confirm it.

"Okay then" I smile, "then your name is Autumn, pleased to meet you, my name is Pamela"

I then paid 24 Galleons for Autumn and went out the shop before Snape could break the window with his impatient tapping.

And then our final destination was Ollivander's, for my wand, I was actually skipping to the place in glee, while Snape dragged behind, looking miserable.

I went into the shop as Snape stayed outside again, and looked around for Ollivander, I had a sneaking suspicion that he was actually a ninja, after all, he can just pop out of-

"Hello"

HOLY!

I whipped around to see Ollivander behind me as he was lighting a candle, I was sure that he wasn't there before.

Ninja…

He then calmly walked over to the counter and got behind it, he then looks back at me.

"Pamela Joy I presume" he then cracked a wide smile, "I remember your parents when they came to buy their first wands, Julian Fleming, 9 inches, beech, Dragon Heartstring, quite strong, and Trisha Joy, 10 inches, willow, Unicorn Hair, they were a rowdy bunch both of them if I recall correctly"

Scary…

"H-h-h-hello" I stuttered scared at the old man, he didn't show any sign of noticing however and took out a tape measure and took measurements of everything of my body,

"Which is your wand arm?" he asks as he uncomfortably measured my chest,

"R-right"

From one of the numerous little boxes everywhere he took out a wand.

"Try this one, cherry, 8 inches, Dragon Heartstring"

I took it and waved it slightly, it caused some of the floorboards under me to break in half.

I lay the wand on the counter, VERY carefully.

"Let's try this one, 11 inches, darkthorn, Kneazle hair, weaker, yet bonds easier" he said as he gave me another, I heard Autumn hiss slightly at the remark.

I waved it again and I was sure that I heard the foundation crack from under the house.

"Not that one" Ollivander grinned as he took out yet another.

I then got reminded at how Harry was looking for his wand in the book, and just like him, I had my own pile of wands slowly stacking up, as well as numerous windows and walls breaking because of me.

And just like the book, Ollivander just smiled even more with each one.

He then went to the back of the shop, hearing him mutter how I was just as hard to find a wand for like Harry, and then he lapsed into silence as he found what he wanted.

He came back with a very old looking box, and he blew the dust off it as he opened it slowly.

Inside was a beautifully crafted masterpiece, it swirled around in complex designs with a silver colour that seemed to make it glow.

Ollivander looked at me with a careful look, "12 inches, Silver lime, Unicorn Hair, the last one at least in my stores" He carefully took it out and put it in my hands.

I looked at its artistic body before I gave it a hesitant wave, I then felt a warm felling spreading from my hand to the rest of my body, and then I heard a sound as if paper was tearing backwards and looked to see all the accidents that were caused from the previous wands were slowly fixing themselves.

As I watched it all happen, I could hear Ollivander humming contently.

"I have had that in my shop since the time of my grandfather; Silver Lime is incredibly rare you know, doesn't exist in new wands nowadays" I looked back at his smiling face, "and not only that, early in my and my father's career, we had tried that wand on nearly every young witch and wizard, never found anyone who could wield it however"

"Does that mean it's expensive?" I hoped it wasn't something like one hundred Galleon's, I could afford it, but I didn't want to seem like a rich snob.

"Well normally it would, but consider it a gift, after all, it was actually my grandfather's wish to have it given to the right owner," he then smiled at me, "I hope to see great things from you Miss Joy"

I then left with my new wand in my pocket, Snape told me to get into the taxi and we went back to my house, Mrs Figg's and me talked about several things of Hogwarts after Snape and then I went to my bedroom.

"**If anyone is wondering why she is not putting in Snape's voice, it is because she is scared of him"**

"_No I'm not!"_

"**Yes you are so!"**

"_Not!"_

"**Are!"**

"_Not!"_

"**Are!"**

"_Not! And if you say I am again, I will set the entire Justin Bieber soundtrack on you"_

"**You wouldn't dare"**

"_Baby, Baby, Baby Ooooooo…"_

"**AAAAAAAHHHHHHH"**

Back to my story, I looked over my school uniform and realised I had some work to do, using a transfiguration spell I turned all the ugly skirts into a pairs of trousers, and then I went to my sewing kit box, where I put some dark purple patches on the elbows of all the shirts, and then I put a small badge on each of the arms with a 'P' on it, I got a bright blue and orange scarf and put it around my neck also wearing the rest of one of my uniforms.

I looked at my mirror and thought something was missing, I then looked through my drawer and found an ordinary belt and transfiguring it, the belt was gold coloured and the buckle was silver, I put it around my waist and looked in the mirror, and smiled, perfect.

I vaguely wondered what everyone's reactions would be when I went in looking like this, but I shrugged and didn't worry too much.

I then stripped down and put on my PJ's to go to bed, I drifted off to sleep, while DD screamed at the mental signal I was sending to him.

Sweet music…

_Time Skip_

I was here, Kings Cross Station, and I had more than enough strange looks as I stood there with Mrs Figg's at my side, couldn't blame them, with the trolley holding a cat and several trunks, Autumn on a side note was snuggling into my witch hat like a big bed, and sleeping on top of my trolley.

"Now dear" Mrs Figg's says as we walk down the platform towards the barrier, "remember to be careful as you are there, don't give any grief to your teachers, especially that Snape man, he seems like those rotter's who hold a grudge"

"Yes gran" I say, a man stares at us as we walk past, and Mrs Figg's notices this,

"What the heck you looking at!" he yells at him, the man jumps and hurries on his way.

She turns back to me, "Also, don't experiment too much, nasty business that is, and never go near the Forbidden Forest, don't talk to them Weasley twins, heard a lot about them let me tell you, brush your teeth every day, make sure when you tell a boy no, it means NO And-

"Gran!" I nearly yell as she was rambling, she stops and realises she was rambling and blushed slightly, we then found ourselves at the barrier.

Before we could walk in, I saw the Weasley family coming up behind us; it is strange that they don't be more quiet saying Wizarding things in front of normal folk, especially since they are getting more attention because of their bizarre appearance.

"Okay, you first Percy" says Mrs Weasley as they get the barrier, the tallest red head, Percy, walks forward with his trolley and goes through the stone wall, I cast a glance behind me and confirmed that Harry was looking hopelessly dumbfounded at the sight.

The twins then confused their mother with the whole Forge, Gred routine, I didn't see the problem; I could tell them apart quite easily.

Finally, Harry comes out of hiding, but instead of asking the Weasley's for help, he comes up to me.

"Done stalking yet Harry?" I asked with a cheeky grin,

"Huh?" he replies unconvincingly,

I looked at Ginny, who had heard us talking and cast a curious look towards us, with knowledge that both of them would be snog-buddies in the future, I grinned even wider.

I dropped my voice lower, "The little red haired girl is a keeper, better start early right?"

Harry took on an interesting shade of red, Mrs Figg's chuckled and she moved towards the barrier, going in herself, after telling me to come in when I was done.

"I-it's nothing like that!" he shouts,

"_That's so cute…"_

"**So your one of **_**those **_**girls"**

"_And what does that mean?"_

"**The kind that teases until they are a gibbering wreck of course"**

"_You give the info of every couple in the future and you expect me to NOT use it, you must be out of your mind DD"_

I then showed Harry how to walk into the barrier, with Mrs Weasley throwing in her two cents at starting off in a run, we then found ourselves and Platform Nine-and-three-Quarters, I glanced at Harry who was enraptured at the sight of the Hogwarts Express, with a quick scan of the crowd I could see several familiar faces that I never met before, Neville with what I assume to be his grandmother, a bushy head of hair belonging to Hermione struggling with her trunk, and I was sure I caught the glimpse of a blond, Dracula-Styled hairdo somewhere in the mass of new first years.

I took in a deep breath, I was going to really start a year in Hogwarts, I cast a sound-proof bubble around my head and screamed into it when no one was looking my way, then dispelled it, good.

"_By the way, when do I get my new power?"_

"**When you get sorted of course, it may be wise considering which house you may be in"**

"_But I want to be Gryffindor"_

"**Always with the house of the Brave and Stupid isn't it?"**

"_Shut up DD"_

I then helped Harry with his luggage thanks to a Feather-Weight Charm, and got on the train.

**A/N: Sorry it took so long, I was getting distracted by, well, life, exams and general writers block.**

**I have the power planned this year so you will have to wait next chapter for what it is, so as the Japanese say, Sayonara!**


	4. Chapter 3: Open, Shut, Open, MAKE UP

**A/N: So here we are, with my sister at Hogwarts, I will love making this scene due to the familiar workings with the ceremony, Ron and Hermione too will be having an immediate attitude adjustment on the quirks of their personality by my sis's ass-kicking ways.**

**Chapter 3: Open, Shut, Open, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!**

The Hogwarts Express was quite homey on the inside, didn't really make me feel better about the fact that I would be sitting here for several hours, I let Harry get on with finding us a compartment, his childhood shyness shined through as he chose an empty one and we both sat down.

I listened out the window to hear Gred and Forge talking with their mother, and realised I had stopped them from meeting Harry as I didn't come to help him with his luggage, I suppose that they will meet him anyway, but I should have watched out for those small plotlines.

Autumn stretched her body out and snuggled deeper into my Hogwarts hat as she fell asleep, I smiled slightly at Mrs Weasley's response to the twins saying they would send a toilet seat through the mail, and chuckled slightly at the thought of an owl carrying it in the first place.

Talking about owls, I looked towards Harry and talked about his new owl, Hedwig, it was a short conversation before the door slid open and there stood the youngest Weasley boy of the family, Ron,

"Anyone sitting there?" he asked as he pointed to the seat across from us, "Everyone else is full"

I smiled openly as Harry nodded; I need to get him more comfortable around people,

"Sure, always room for one more" I say as I gesture to the seat in front of me,

He sat down and I noticed he didn't seem to look awkward around Harry, must be because the twins didn't say anything, "My names Ron, Ron Weasley"

"My names is Pamela Joy, but just called me Pam, because if you don't I'll knock your lights out" I said in a cheery voice, he nodded in understanding, since his name was Ronald.

Ronald McDonalds, I made a funny.

"Harry Potter" said Harry, Ron's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as soon as he said it, but before he could open his mouth, the compartment door opened again.

"Hey Ron" said Fred as he and his clone walked in, "Listen, we're going down the middle of the train – Lee Jordan's got a giant tarantula down there" the look on his face was scarily mischievous.

"Right" Ron mumbled, shaking slight at the thought of his childhood fear, momently forgetting he was sitting across from a legend.

George then turned to us, "Hello there, Fred and George Weasley, nice to meet you" as they both gave an exaggerated bow, "And you already met our little brother, be warned, he can be a twit at times"

Ron's ears turned red, "I am NOT!" he said loudly,

I smiled regardless, remembering the spats between both of my brothers back home, "Thanks George for the warning, I'll keep it to heart"

"He's not George I am" said Fred with a wide grin.

I gave the same to him, "No, you are Fred and he is George"

The both of them looked at each other, "You can't say that, you just met us" they said together.

"But you still can't get me with the twin routine" I reply,

"Please, how can you-" George

"-say that you know-" Fred

"-who is really who-" George

"-If you haven't met us before?" Fred

"Because even if you two are as similar as you say" I said not missing a beat, "there are distinct differences between you both"

Both of them looked nervous that one of their favourite pranks was going underwater, "And what would that be?" asked George,

"Well" I said as I looked between them both, "for one," I pointed to George, "George's hair is slightly more messy than Fred's," I then pointed to Fred, "As well as Fred having more of a deeper voice than George, and" back to George, "you always take the lead when you talk together, must I go on?"

The Twins and Ron looked at me with their jaws wide open, while Harry held his hand in front of his mouth chocking back chuckles.

"Fred?"

"Yes George"

"Women are scary"

"Yes George, they are"

"Refer to each other by your own names" I said to them, they flinched at being caught out and beat a hasty retreat, after the door shut again, Ron turned to me,

"I think that is the first time I saw those two absolutely dumbfounded, how the bloody hell did you know all that stuff?"

"I didn't" I said with a grin, it took Ron ten seconds to think before he broke out in a wide grin,

"They need that you know, someone to knock them off their high horse" he then changed expression to one of recognition, "wait, you're saying you are _the _Harry Potter?" he asked turning to the Boy-Who-Lived,

"Yes" said Harry shortly,

"So, does that mean you have the… you know" he made a gesture to his own head,

"Oh, yes" Harry pulled his fringe back to show his lightning bolt, while Ron stared at it with awe,

"Pretty good, right?" I asked him as I rifled through my pockets for cash, the trolley would be coming along so I wanted to pay for myself,

"I tried to persuade him to show it off more, he would have been quite the chick magnet if he had" I gave a sly grin as Harry ducked his head down in embarrassment.

"Please Pam, don't do that again" he said in a quiet voice,

"But you don't deny you liked it when that Mary girl flirted with you in the hallway"

"PAM!"

I giggled as he turned red as a tomato, while Ron looked on with amusement, forgetting his questions of Voldewart.

"**Wow, so you do have the brain to think ahead"**

"_What, don't tell me you tried to pick someone dumb to get the Hallows DD"_

"**I didn't say that, just too dumb to think ahead"**

"_Nyan Cat…"_

"**NO WAIT! I'LL BE GOOD!"**

"_That's what I thought"_

"**That Fred human was right, women are scary…"**

"So are all your family wizards?" asked Harry, snapping me out of talking to Death,

If anyone heard that they would have strapped in a straitjacket.

"Err - yeah I think so, I think mum has a second cousin who is an accountant but we don't talk about him much"

"I only have my grandmother Mrs Figg, she's a Squib" I said,

"What's a Squib?" asked Harry, I then remembered that I never explained that concept to him.

"It is like the opposite of a muggle-born" said Ron, "they have both parents who are magical yet they can't use magic, not bad or anything but people look down at them sometimes"

"I heard that you live with Muggles by the way" continued Ron to Harry, "What are they like?"

"Well, the ones I live with are horrible, but others aren't that bad," he then looked thoughtful, "I wish I had three wizard brothers"

"Five" said Ron with a cloud of gloom rolling over him, "I'm the sixth of all of us to go to Hogwarts, you can say I have a lot to live up to. Bill and Charlie have already left – Bill was a Head Boy and Charlie was the Captain of the Quidditch team, now Percy's a Prefect and even Fred and George get good marks and everyone thinks they're really funny. Everyone now expects me to be as great as them, and even if I did, it wouldn't matter because they did it first"

"Becoming friends with the Boy-Who-Lived hasn't been done in your family has it?" I interrupted, Ron looked at me blankly, and then to Harry,

"I'm your friend?" asked Ron,

"Of course" said Harry with a grin, Ron gave his own in return,

"Well, anyway, I never get anything new either, with five brothers; I got Bill's old robes, Charlie's old wand and Percy's old rat"

I tensed slightly at the sight of Peter as he was pulled out from Ron's jacket, I heard Autumn stir slightly as she peaked out of my hat.

"His name is Scabbers and he's worthless, he hardly ever wakes up. Percy got an owl for being a Prefect from my dad. But they couldn't aff- I mean, I got Scabbers instead"

Ignoring his near slip-up, I looked at the suddenly alert Autumn as she glared at the Animagus in Ron's hand,

"You know…" I said as I looked at a slight chance, "that thing looks too old to even live properly, how long did your family have him again?"

Ron cocked his head to the side, "About nine years, why?"

I whistled softly, "That is a record breaker you have there, put him in the record books, and at the best rats have been known to live for eight"

I saw the rat in his hands twitch slightly at the conversation, looks like he isn't as sleepy as Ron thought,

"Well, that's cool, maybe he is a magic rat" said Ron.

Yeah, because that is the common answer with wizards, magic.

"But still, he hardly looks right just letting him grow old, how about this, I'll buy him off you"

Scabbers then stopped pretending to be asleep and tried to discreetly wiggle out of Ron's hands, but it was futile as Ron had a greedy look in his eye,

"How much?" he asked,

I looked thoughtful, "I know, how much for a good owl?"

With a quick transaction, Rat-Peter was stuffed into a cage and given to me, while Ron was fifteen Galleon's richer,

"So what are you going to do with him?" asked Ron as he counted his coins,

"Well," I thought through the list of things I really wanted to do to him, but decided to lie, "my gran is good at taking care of animals, and she'll make sure that the little guy is well kept till he kicks the bucket"

At this, the panicked squeaking of Peter stopped and he relaxed again, thinking he would be living in peace again, oh how wrong he is.

"**Why not feed him to that pet of yours?"**

"_Because that would mean he would die as Scabbers, I need to send him to the ministry before he gets send to the chop-block, not till third year however, that would mess the storyline big-time"_

"**Yet again with your saving people thing"**

"_Hey, that is Harry's thing"_

After talking for a little while, Harry spoke Voldewart's name and Ron freaked out.

"So what if he speaks the guy's name?" I ask with a look, "Look at me now, Voldemort, Voldemort, Volde-warty Voldewart!" I sang in an off tone key, Ron laughed slightly at the end despite his pale face.

"But I didn't think you of all people would say his name" continued Ron, looking at Harry, "I mean, with what he did"

"Well, I'm not trying to be brave or anything" said the boy who faces Voldemort on his own in several occasions, "I just didn't know you shouldn't, I still have a lot to learn, even with Pam teaching me"

Ron looked at me with big eyes, "You taught him magic? But I thought your Gran was a Squib?"

"Well, that doesn't mean she hadn't left a lot of books about magic hanging around" I answered him, "I picked up on everything easy enough, Harry was my friend before all that and I started teaching him when I had to get him down when he accidently Apparated himself on top of the school roof"

Ron's eyes if possible, swelled even bigger, "You can Apparate?"

I gave an innocent smile, "What, can't anybody do that?"

But before he could say anything, a clattering sound was heard outside the compartment before it was opened by an old smiling woman with dimples,

"Anything from the trolley dears?" she asked,

I leapt off my seat towards the sugary confections, as did Harry with less enthusiasm.

We bought the same thing as each other, except I decided to buy every Chocolate Frog there was in stock, I had to pay seven sickles separately for that.

As such, the call of all this food made us forget the previous discussion, and I grabbed one frog down before it could jump away, Ron looked at me questionably,

"It's best to let them have a few jumps to wear out the magic you know, it's horrible when you have to stuff a life one into your mouth"

I smiled and took out my wand, "I always wanted to do this"

I got off my seat and placed the frog quickly on the unoccupied space and sat down beside Ron, and before the frog could jump away, I quickly cast my spell.

"_Toony, Toony let it be, that this frog will jig for me"_

The frog stopped mid hop and sat still for a second, before it stood up on its hind legs and music came out of nowhere,

"What the?!" exclaimed Ron before a deep voice suddenly began to be sung by the frog, as he started dancing by kicking his legs up high in the air.

"_Hello my baby, Hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal,"_

"_Send me a kiss by wire, baby my hearts on fire!"_

The two boys were so focused on the performance they didn't notice the door open and a figure look at the scene with awe,

"_If you refuse me, baby you'll lose me, and you'll be left alone"_

"_Come one, and tell me I'm your own!"_

After finishing the song, the music stopped and the little frog then dropped to the seat, and stood motionless, as he had exceeded his number of hops before,

"That" said Ron as he looked at it, "was bloody brilliant"

"Indeed" said Harry, who was used to my randomness but this, was new to him,

"Did you do that?" asked a voice from the door, we turned around to see a boy with a round face looking at the frog with excitement,

As he was talking about me, I replied, "Sure, I made it up myself, based him off Loony Toons"

At the questioning look of the wizard kids I said, "Muggle cartoon, a kind of thing broadcast over the TV"

"My dad said something about that" said Ron with a thoughtful look,

"It was wicked" said Neville as he looked at the candy, as if he expected it to grow wings, then he remembered something, "Oh, have you seen a toad at all?"

At the sight of our heads shaking he looked depressed, "I've lost him again, and he keeps getting away from me"

"I'm sure he'll turn up" said Harry trying to make the boy feel better,

"Right" he said sadly, "well, if you see him…"

He then left and the door was shut… I feel this is becoming to be repetitive.

"Don't know why he's bothered" commented Ron, "If I bought a toad, I'd ditch him as soon as I could, but I held on for Scabbers for a while so I can't talk"

He then looked at the snoozing rat, "Glad I got rid of him, he could die and you wouldn't tell the difference, I got a spell from George, to turn him yellow to make him more interesting, didn't work yesterday"

Seeing a major plot hole, I jumped in, "Why don't you try now?"

With a reluctant look, he pulled out his wand as I sat back on my seat, casually eating the dancing frog I picked up; Peter was taken out of the cage and placed into Ron's hand.

"Unicorn's hair is nearly poking out" he commented with distaste as he raised his wand, "Anyway-

But before he could say anything else, the door opened again, (I swear, the next time someone opens that…) and in walks Neville again, and this time, Hermione,

"Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one" she really did have a bossy voice, and the bushy hair, cool!

"Nice hair" I commented to her, Hermione turned to me and we looked at each other's messy locks,

"You too?" she said with questioning tone,

"We already told him we hadn't seen it" interjected Ron, but Hermione didn't listen as she took in the wand in the red head's hand,

"Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see then"

She sat between me and Harry while Ron was suddenly looking like he had a case of stage fright,

"Err – all right"

He cleared his throat and pointed at the rat again, as I hoped that it might explode by happen-chance.

Don't look at me like that; my big brother is the morbid one in the family.

"Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow" he recited,

"Turn this stupid fat rat yellow"

The rat didn't even budge from his sleep as he finished, and he shrugged helplessly at me,

"Are you sure that's a _real _spell?" asked the bookworm as she had a superior tone to her voice, "Well, it's not really good, is it?"

Neville then surprisingly jumped in, "It was not good as the dancing chocolate frog that you cast" he said to me, he immediately blushed as I turned my head to him, "well… um it was a very nice trick" he said in embarrassment,

"Thanks" I smiled openly, "names Pamela, but please call me Pam"

"And, um, I'm Neville Longbottom, sorry for interrupting you again"

Hermione then frowned slightly, "Dancing frog? What kind of spell is that?"

I gave a long grin, "Well, just give me chocolate frog and I'll…"

But as I gazed at the pile of discarded packages, and gave Ron a glare,

"Sorry, I was hungry" he tried to defend, I huffed as I turned back to the bushy girl,

"Men, let me tell you something…" I said in a low voice, Hermione giggled a little, before she continued,

"Well, I myself have only tried a few simple spells just for practice, and it's all worked for me. Nobody in my family's magic at all, it was ever such a surprise when I got a letter, but I was ever so pleased, of course, I mean it's the very best school of witchcraft there is, I've heard - I've learned set books off by heart, of course-

"Whoa!" I exclaimed and everyone jumped slightly as I looked at her, "bit of a chatter box aren't you" I said I a teasing voice,

Hermione blushed slightly at the truth,

"Let's start again okay?" I said as I held out my hand, "Name's Pam Joy, what's yours" I asked without needing the answer,

"Hermione Granger" she said as she shakes hands with me,

"Ron Weasley" said Ron as I looked at him to follow through,

"Harry Potter" added Harry, Neville and Hermione immediately looked surprised, as the boy squeaked and the girl gained a news reporter look in her eye,

"Are you really?" she asked, I briefly pictured her with Rita Skeeter's glasses and mentally shuddered, "I know all about you of course – I got a few extra books for background reading, and you're in _Modern Magical History _and _The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts _and-

"Mione" I say, using her future nickname early, as I try to ignore the motor mouth comment coming from DD, "I appreciate that you're taking an interest in Harry, but anymore and we can put you down as his future wife"

The two Pre-teens gained a pair of pink faces… oh fudge, I shouldn't try to create awkward attachment between them… but it's so fun.

I then got my signature cheeky face and Harry gulped in fear, I leaned to the left so I could whisper in her ear,

"Yet again, the Boy-Who-Lived is quite a keeper, maybe that was your idea in the first place…" she then blushed even redder and quickly sat up,

"C-come Neville" she said stammering as she walked out the door, "L-let's go find that toad of yours, okay?"

As I couldn't resist saying a parting shot, I hollered behind her, "Sinking your claws in another Mione? You sly dog you!"

They both squeaked and Hermione quickly closed the door in our faces… jerks.

"Whatever house I'm in" said Ron with a smirk; "I wish it was yours, you make things so interesting"

I smiled at him "That's just me"

"What houses?"

But before we could talk anymore… yeah, you guessed it, the door slid open,

And who else is standing there, than Malfoy, who looking superior and his towering piles of muscle sat on either side of him.

"Is it true?" he asked, "They're saying all down the train that Harry Potter's in this compartment. So it's you, is it?" he said, pointing to Harry,

"Yes" he said nervously, while his eyes looked between the two giants behind him, I then decided to lighten the mood,

I fake gasped and everyone turned to me, in which I responded by turning to Harry away from the three stooges and said while pointing vaguely in their direction, "Did YOU know the ferret could talk?"

Ron guffawed in laughter while Harry fought hard to contain a smirk, barely, even if they didn't get it really, it would be quite a good one in the future,

As you could imagine, Draco turned red and then glared at me, "You, what is your name?"

I then gave a pout in an exaggerated way, "How rude, don't you know it is only polite if you introduce yourself before you ask another's name"

He gritted his teeth before saying, "Its Malfoy, Draco Malfoy"

***SMACK***

In what was a half second, the little weasel was send from standing in the door, to his head hitting the window, his two bodyguards blinked before seeing that I was the case of his sudden propulsion, with my fist outstretched in a fist,

I then smiled sweetly, "Unless you want to find yourselves strung up on the ceiling with only the suit you were wearing since you were born, I suggest you run off with your little leader"

Whenever it was from how calm and happy I looked when I had said that or the possibility that I could follow through with it, they immediately ran from the vicinity with Malfoy slung over Goyle's shoulder, nodding with satisfaction, I walked back into the compartment,

"What the bloody hell was that about?" asked Ron as he looked at me like a ticking time bomb,

I smiled sweetly, "If anyone tries to introduce themselves like James Bond again, they deserve no less"

Ron did currently not want to test my patience so he nodded nervously, deciding to ask who James Bond was.

I few seconds later… the door opens,

Luckily, I see Hermione as a bushy hair friend, so I didn't initiate a high kick to her jaw.

"What _has _been going on?" she asked, she had apparently noticed Twiddle-Dee and Twiddle-Dum running away with Alice,

"Who IS Draco?" asked Harry to Ron as I explained to Hermione my victory over the bleached blond, a little exaggerated of course,

"I've heard of his family" said Ron with the look he had swallowed something horrid, "They were some of the first that came back to our side the moment You-Know-Who disappeared, said they'd been bewitched. My dad doesn't believe it. He says Malfoy's father didn't need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side"

"And then *WHHHOOOOSSSSSH* I used fired forward with a fist quicker than lightning, and a stream of crimson erupted from the dreaded page boy, he and his two trolls then retreated, while I looked across the battlefield with a solemn expression" I nodded and my new friends suddenly questioned whenever I was in my right mind.

"Well…" Hermione said as she looked slightly confused, "What I could draw from all that was that was that he was mean in some way and you punched him, was that right?"

I nodded again and she looked at me with a shocked expression,

"We haven't even got to the school yet and you are already getting into trouble!" she complains loudly, I make an action of rubbing my ear in pain,

"Bullies like that won't be able to take no for an answer, sometimes it is better to tap them in the head till they get a better idea, I mean, Harry here" I pointed to him, "Gets harassed by his idiot cousin and his friends any chance he gets, but now, eighty percent of the time, they don't go near him because I am there to help him out"

I ruffle Harry's hair and he shakes it irritably, pouting slightly,

"But still, that is no excuse to resort to violence" she tries to argue, It took all my willpower not to smirk, she won't be saying that in third year,

"Anyway" she huffs and turns to us in general, "I asked the driver and he says we are nearly there, so you should all get changed before we do"

Chance!

"But Mione," I said, not meaning a single bit my innocent smile, "You don't seriously expect me to chance my clothes in front the boys do you?" I gave a slight cheeky smile, "They might take advantage of the situation"

The two fore mentioned boys blushed at this, as well as the girl again slightly,

"V-very well" she said, closing her eyes trying to calm down, "I myself have an empty compartment, you may change with me"

"Yah!" I shout, and take all my clothes before speaking to Autumn, "Remember to find me with Mione later, okay?"

The sleepy cat nodded and I went off with Hermione, while looking out the window at the landscape turning dark.

Look out Hogwarts, Pam Joy is coming to town.


	5. Chapter 4: Chat With A Hat

**A/N: I'M NOT DEAD!**

**Now that that's out of the way, time for some Pam eh?**

**Chapter 4: Chat With A Hat**

I never did appreciate when Death turned me into a half-pint six year old, I wasn't _that _far into puberty admittedly, but when the things they teach you in school is 2+2=4, it gets grating after a while, plus most of the kids here believed in cooties, I wasn't able to snag a boyfriend or anything.

Kidding.

So you can imagine why I was a bit put off when I saw that Hermione was taller than me, when I used to be way taller, as well as being more developed.

Damn, why was I cursed with this cutesy baby fat of mine?

"**Are you really that envious because of another's development?"**

"_Hey! To a woman, her assets are everything; my mature look was my highlight when I was twelve"_

I heard some undead giggling before he continued, **"Mature? You?"**

"…_you got something to say about my figure DD?" _I thought with much venom.

"***Gulp* N-nothing at all!"**

What a coward.

Hermione and me got changed quickly as funky voice from around the train told us that we were approaching Hogwarts, while we were changing, I couldn't resist teasing her slightly, no, scratch that, a lot.

"…I mean, sure Harry has the money and fame thing going down for him, but maybe you like the emotional types that aren't afraid to depend on you, maybe that's why you were helping Neville, or maybe you're into Ron for his red hair, they always say that they are the most passionate, and the kids are ultra-cute-

"PAMELA!" Shouted the brightest witch of her age as she blushed, "I-I'm not looking for a boyfriend or anything like that!"

"Oh…" I intone as I wrapped my hands around my body in a (fake) defenceless way, "Well, that explains a bit"

"Huh?" she asks, in a very unintelligent manner, around me, I guess it was bound to happen.

"Well, you did let me in here pretty easily, and you're not interested in guys, so does that me-

"PAMELA!" She screeched as she turned red enough to stop traffic, this time out of a little anger as well.

"I just need to guarantee my safety as a maiden" I said in a playful tone, I could tell that she was really mad now, so, with the rest of my uniform on, I hurried out of the compartment before she could hex me, and skipped off in merriment.

When I was a few metres away, Hermione followed me down the train, trying to calm down and keep the heat out of her cheeks.

She looked me up and down and her mouth dropped, "Pamela! You can't seriously be wearing that!"

"What?" I asked in mock curiosity,

"Y-you, you're not wearing the school uniform for girls for a start, and you changed the rest of it"

"There is no way someone will get me into a skirt, and no one wears those hats do they? I think they will look over a few things like this"

Hermione looked like she wanted to protest more, but we then got to the door and she shot me a 'we will talk later' look.

When we had cleared the masses, we immediately caught sight of the boys and re-joined them along with Mione, and then, towering over the rest of the students, was our favourite half giant, Hagrid.

Note to self; ask to get another Fluffy from him.

"Fris'-years! Fris'-years!" he called out, we gathered around him as did the rest of our year, Harry greeted Hagrid and the mini BFG took us all through a path and we got to one end of the lake, although something was off when Hagrid said no more than five to a boat.

"**You might have been able to become good friends with Potter, but take every opportunity to get along with his other future companions; it will be useful later on to get the Hallows, so I arranged a few things to make this easier"**

"_Damn, you sound like a matchmaker or something"_

"**Till Death do you part, I always liked the phrase about relationships, so I like to begin one of them before making them part like the saying"**

"_Damn DD, you need a girlfriend"_

"**What made you suddenly think that!?"**

I ignored the ranting of the disembodied voice in favour to admire the scenery.

The book doesn't do it justice, the place was beautiful, and I suddenly regret that I won't be able to see the place like this at night again…

Without breaking rules at least.

We went through the underground to the harbour in the books, we then continued on to the Great Hall, but not before Neville gets back his toad Trevor.

"Good for him I guess" Ron says as we walk up some stairs, "Still think he should have ditched it"

Hagrid then knocked on the castle door and we waited, for a millisecond, before Miss McGonagall strolled out, with an authority face that said, buzz kill.

I am so hyped right now.

Luna was my favourite female character, but my favourite teacher was McGonagall, I had to resist another fangirl scream as the bubble would have been too noticeable right now.

"…I will take them from here" I heard her intone, I snapped out of my thoughts and followed her along with the others to the Great Hall, everyone didn't talk much because they were nervous, I on the other hand, was singing one of my favourite songs quietly.

"Doo-be-doo-be-doo-ba, Doo-be-doo-be-doo-ba, Doo-be-doo-be-doo-ba, Doo-be-doo-be-doo-ba"

"Perry!" I said slightly louder, catching the attention of my friends and a few others,

"He's a semi-aquatic, egg-laying mammal of action" as I sang, Harry sighed while Hermione and Ron looked at me weirdly.

"He's a furry little flatfoot, who'll never flinch from a fray-ay-ay!"

"He's got more than just mad skill; he's got a beaver's tail and a bill!"

Pretty soon, everyone within a metres radius was staring at me as I sang; I pay them no mind as I finished the rest of my song.

"And the women swoon, whenever they hear him say!"

I then placed the tip of my wand that I had in my hand towards my mouth and I perfectly imitated Perry's platypus sound that left anyone who wasn't staring at me like I was crazy to think I was insane.

I love magic.

"He's Perry! Perry the Platypus!"

I am sure, that if this was one of my brother's anime's, that everyone would have face planted at platypus, or did the sweat drop thing, all I heard however was a slight cough and I realized that we weren't moving anymore, I looked up to see McGonagall's face looking at me from in front of the entrance to the Hall, even if she looked at my sternly, I could see a little amusement in her eyes.

"Now that you have finished, can I properly introduce you all to Hogwarts?" I knew the only answer was yes professor, but I decided to mix it a bit.

"Right O Prof!" I nearly shouted with a smile, she shakes her head slightly with a frown, no doubt connecting me to the Weasley duo,

"And also no magic outside of the dormitories and classrooms, but good Transfiguration magic at any rate, changing your voice is quite advanced indeed"

I smiled at the compliment and she smiled back a little, before turning back to the rest of the students to give her speech.

I tuned out a little as I bounced on my heels a little with excitement, I thought through the not so well known students from the books and looked around, I managed to pin a few names to faces, such as Daphne Greengrass and Susan Bones, but it was kind of hard to know the rest of them.

"The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school; I suggest you smarten yourself up as much as you can while you are waiting"

Giving a disproving glance at the messy suspects (Ron and Neville) and turned back to the door behind her.

"I shall return once you're ready, please wait" looks at me, "_quietly _until then"

A few sniggers from the crowd, but I just smirked proudly before beating my chest with one arm, "Right O prof, scouts honour!"

She sighed and left, leaving everyone to worry about for what house they will be in.

"_Hogwarts, Hogwarts, hoggy hoggy Hogwarts, teach as something please!"_

"**Oh SHUT UP, it is bad enough I had to be subjected to that Platypus song before, I don't need to suffer alone now"**

"_Well you heard what she said, I have to be quiet"_

"**And I am telling you to be silent!"**

"_Party pooper…"_

"Pam" I turned to look at Harry giving me the eye, as in the, 'you have done this so many times I am not surprised' eye.

"Seriously, can you not sense the mood once?"

I knew Harry was very easily influenced when it came to things like other people, when others are nervous, you are nervous, so I guess I was his polar opposite in the way, I looked around and said, "They all seem happy to me"

True enough, I broke some of the tension people had and they were chatting quietly with each other, some even chuckled at a joke told by another.

Harry shook his head, "I swear, you can make a graveyard happy with your attitude" he then turned to Ron, "So, how do you get sorted?"

"Some sort of test, I think, Fred says it hurts a lot, but I don't believe him"

I jumped in, "I don't think that parents would send us here if the test hurt us at all"

"See, that's what I thought as well, plus he had that stupid smirk on his face when they said it, I knew they were lying"

Harry looked slightly worried as he looked at the door, no doubt he would have been much more scared if I didn't teach him a trick or two.

I looked at Hermione, she was rapidly speaking through the spells she knew at breakneck speed, I knew a majority of them, and a few she didn't, because I made them myself really but that doesn't count.

I wondered who would get the better score in the tests in the future.

We then heard screaming behind us and all of a sudden numerous ghosts popped out of the walls,

"Wicked!" I shouted as I looked at them, I was sure I saw the Bloody Baron with his silver stained clothing pass by, as well as the Grey Lady.

"_So Death, how does it feel to be cheated so many times here?"_

"**Mm? Oh, you mean the ghosts, they are only a copy of the actual living person really, like an echo in a cave, they aren't really cheating me so to speak, whenever Hell, Heaven, Purgatory or Earth, if they are dead, their dead"**

"_Huh, so what about Horcruxes?"_

"**On the weekends I torture the man, who invented Horcruxes in the first place, with great glee, let's put it like that"**

Scary.

And who else greeted us than Nearly Headless Nick, his head slightly wobbling on its balance.

"Welcome to Hogwarts" he said to us in passing, as floated on to the next room,

Well, that was underwhelming.

"**You would do the same if you were over a century old; he must have done this at one hundred times before your body here was even born"**

I hate it when he's right.

McGonagall came through the doors again, and we all stood at attention.

"Form a line and follow me now" she said as the rest of the ghosts disappeared, anxiety settled in again as we did what we were told, the doors opened and we went through them.

The place was definitely brilliant, I loved all of the candles and stuff, but I wonder were the dripping wax goes; it would be painful if it landed on someone.

Looking up, the ceiling was star filled just like the book, the twinkling lights shining overhead.

"It's bewitched to look like the sky outside" Hermione whispered beside me, "I read it in _Hogwarts: A History_"

"It's cool, I wonder if I can do the same to my bedroom"

"You can't, it would take a very powerful wizard to do the charm, maybe you can hire someone"

"Maybe, but I am a more DIY person"

She will be begging me to teach her the spell if she ever visits my room after school,

A small stool was placed In front of everyone by McGonagall; on top of it was the Sorting Hat.

"**Ugh, I never liked it"**

"_What? You have history with the hat?"_

"**Not really, you see, the hat is the combined personalities of the four founders, at least at first, and then it turned a bit dull after so many years of having no social experiences after the founders passed away, not many people really just talked to it to talk to it, Salazar had a little immortality obsession, so he thought this was like living on forever, it was really closer to giving birth, but it still made me angry the man thought he would live forever even when he died and went to Heaven"**

"_Wait, he went to HEAVEN!"_

"**Of course he did, not all Slytherin's become Demon playthings, just like all Gryffindor's don't get wings of light, the one you call Wormtail is a perfect example of this"**

"_How did that guy get in the first place?"_

"**People change Joy, it doesn't help that the hat itself seemed to have inherited that immortality obsession of his, I heard him mock me in his head whenever I visited Hogwarts for business, it stopped after a while, but I still hate it"**

"Abbott, Hannah!"

I cut my conversation with DD to listen to McGonagall; I must have missed the hat song before.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"the hat shouted, the little girl then hurried off to her seat with a grin and the list continued.

Lots of other names were called; Ron groaned a little when Hermione was put in Gryffindor, I guess the Halloween episode was going to happen then.

"Joy, Pamela!" mine was out, cool, time for some sorting.

I practically danced to the hat, with slides and some skipping, before jumping backwards to sit on the stool, McGonagall gave me a look and placed the Sorting Hat on my head, blocking my sight a little, but I could still see a little.

"_**Very interesting" **_He said in my head, _**"You have a mission here of a sort, not of this world and the like, not to mention from Death himself, you have an interesting time ahead of you"**_

"_You should know, considering you can see the book series in my head"_

"_**Indeed I can, I am not looking forward to burning on the seventh, can you have a bucket of water on standby please?"**_

"Sure" I said out loud, everyone looked at my curiously.

"_**Better keep this conversation under the hat, as the case may be" **_I heard a lot of chuckling in my brain,

"Bad pun" I said out loud again, "Do you have a conversation with every person sorted?"

"Well you are just that interesting"He says out loud as well, a few people blinked owlishly at us having a chat, and I am sure I heard Harry do a face plant in the crowd.

The hat seemed to turn a little towards McGonagall to the side of me.

"Sorry about this, won't take a minute"

I didn't hear anything so I assumed she nodded,

"_**So, is he there with you?" **_the Hat asked again.

"**Yes I am" **DD said with a regretful tone.

"_**Huh, to think you were an actual person, if you hadn't send Miss Joy here I would have thought nothing more than you being another thing I can't achieve, and to think I gloated in my head 24/7 about immortality, that must have been killing you"**_

"**Yes, I am sure you were dying to meet me"**

"Stop with the stupid puns!" I said loudly, not caring about everyone else in the room, the puns must stop dammit!

"_**I suppose we should finish this then, so, Gryffindor huh? You actually fit it rather well, but to be honest, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff is also a good option, but of course that's not where you would want to go, so I suppose the only thing I can say is"**_

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The said table exploded in cheering and whistling, I smiled widely and made my way to the table after the Sorting Hat was taken off, but halfway there, I stopped, as an afterthought I turned to the hat.

"Hey, is it okay I can talk to you every now and then when you're not busy?"

The hat grinned widely "Whenever you want Miss Joy, the password is Liquorice Wands by the way, you know where I am"

I smiled in return and went to my seat, which coincidence enough was right next to the Twins and Hermione.

"You actually talked with the hat?" asked Hermione with wide eyes, "I thought it was only made to sort people, not talk to them"

"Well it goes to show Hermione, you can't judge a book from his cover, or a hat by his seams" I rubbed my head, "Damn, I think his stupid puns are rubbing off me"

"His?" asked George from the other side of the table, along with Fred next to him,

"Well, yeah, he sounds like a he, doesn't he?"

They both shrugged.

"I think I am going to have to get used to all this" Hermione mumbles beside me, "I mean, it seems that you are weird, even in wizard and witch standards"

"Hey! We resent that mark!" The twins said together,

"Yeah Hermione, you are a witch too, you should know how insulting that is for them" I grinned as the twins took two seconds to realize the insult,

"Now that-" George,

"-wasn't very nice" Fred,

"I know" I smiled sweetly.

"**Are you forgetting something?" **DD droned in my head,

"_What?" _I asked back as I noted with glee that Malfoy had a broken nose.

"**The power I was going to give you this year? Remember?"**

"_Oh, okay then, well, my memory isn't doing well, I need to remember the details of the books to get by this, so I want an eidetic memory, I can remember anything, what date it happened, and basically word from word in the book"_

"**Hn, a bit underwhelming, but okay then, don't flinch"**

I felt a slight sting ALL over my brain and I struggled to keep a straight face, and then it was all over, breathing a sigh, I suddenly noticed I remembered my old home in perfect clarity, even the jam stain that Darren hadn't cleaned up while making sandwiches, then everything in the books, word by word of the speech Dumbledore would be giving later, and more.

But damn it did sting.

"**I'll be gone till tomorrow, an oil mining accident happened and a bunch of tricky souls died, I need to sort through them for a few things, have fun in Hogwarts till then"**

I mentally nodded and looked up to see Harry coming up, after a little time on his head, the hat shouted out Gryffindor and he sat with me, looking relieved but a little pale, no doubt thinking that he could have been put in Slytherin, I congratulated him and we settled down for a feast after everyone else was sorted, Harry kept on telling me that only I could make a magical artefact talk to me about the weather and I said it was rich coming from the Dark Wizard killer at one year old, we were then given Dumbledore's speech and taken to bed by the Prefects, and I collapsed in mine with glee, until Mione nagged me out to put on my PJ's, and then I fell on my bed to sleep.

And tomorrow would be a great day, oh yes it will, especially since I have all my know-how on magic so flawlessly perfect in my head, I will enjoy the day immensely.


End file.
